God and Sexual Assault

When Worry Overtakes Us

One more step toward trust.

“Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked, for the Lord will be at your side and will keep your foot from being snared.” Proverbs 3:25-26

In recovery we are often alone because people find it hard to walk with us in pain. I remember being on the opposite side. Years ago, when someone would tell me about painful times in their lives it was hard to relate and I would cringe and pull back thinking, “Don’t take me there I’m comfortable in life and I don’t want to feel pain.”

So, I get why people don’t want to walk with us, and I see both sides. However, it does not make this journey any easier. Especially since we are faced with everything in life, not just recovery. The day to day life still happens. Life still continues. Nothing stops just because we are recovering.

Which is where I find myself today. In the middle of life happening. I have a kidney stone. I’ve had them before so I know the extreme pain that comes when they start moving and how sick I become. I know I could end up in the emergency room because I can get so sick I can’t stay hydrated. I know all the “what ifs” that can happen.

If I allow it my mind could go crazy trying to figure out how would I get myself to the emergency room by myself and then home after medicated. There’s no one to call. What would I do? If I allow myself to dwell on it and worry I get really upset. It leads me nowhere but bad places yet I have traveled to them many times since I discovered I had one again.

I drink water constantly and keep praying it will pass, but that’s all I can do. Then, today when I was eating breakfast and reading my devotional I glanced back at yesterday’s about not worrying about tomorrow. Okay, God, I hear You. Then, today’s reminded me to keep my eyes on God. One of the verses was:

“Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked, for the Lord will be at your side and will keep your foot from being snared.” Proverbs 3:25-26

I have been fearing sudden disaster. When will disaster happen? What will I do? How will I do it on my own? I’m scared to death. There’s absolutely no one to take care of me except me and if I let myself go there it’s terrifying.

I can do what makes sense. Common sense. For my current situation drink lots of water. Pray. God doesn’t expect me to sit around and just expect the kidney stone to pass I have to do my part too. He does provide us with things to do to help. That’s not trying to do God’s job it’s just using the brain He gave us.

However, ultimately there’s trusting God. Today, I’m learning to trust God a little bit more. Not fearing sudden disaster knowing He is at my side through everything. Not just recovery, but every little thing in life. All of it. He cares about every detail.when worry overtakes us

What do you need to trust Him with today? No matter how small it may seem He cares about it and He cares about you always and forever.

© 2019 Susan M. Clabaugh. All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

 

I am a former elementary school teacher who loves God. I am currently in the process of recovering from a childhood of sexual abuse and assaults. I am pursuing God's will for my life right now which involves following various writing endeavors and working on publishing some books. I feel God has led me to write this for my own healing, and to share with others who have been through the trauma of sexual assault.

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