God and Sexual Assault

Who Cares?

God does.

Who cares really? Do you ever ask yourself that question? I suspect you do. I have been asking it a lot lately. Who cares enough about me to support me to get better?

My therapist would probably say he does, but he doesn’t count. He gets paid and he’s not in my day to day life. He’s not going to just call me up out of the blue to tell me he’s thinking about me or encourage me. In fact no one does, and no one has. So in asking who out there cares I ask myself why care?

Why should I get better if no one cares if I do? If there’s no one to rejoice with about it, no one who loves me enough to see me through it why should I get better?

Today I feel like I should quit therapy and just medicate myself and live on disability and sit home comfort eating the rest of my life. That would be so much easier wouldn’t it? But God never said life would be easy. In fact He promised we’d have trouble. He also promised He overcame the world.

So as I was crying today and trying to pray to God asking why I should get better I started reading through the book, “He Loves Me!”. In it, the author, Wayne Jacobsen, was talking about the story of the prodigal son and the main character – the father. That’s right the father was really the main character. The father let the son leave, he waited for him to return, and when he did he ran to him and welcomed him with open arms.

In a time where they wore robes and it was not really what someone would do, the father RAN to his son welcoming him with so much love the son was astounded. The father cared for the son so much that it did not matter what he looked like going to his son or what the son had done. The father had never stopped loving him.

Just as God has never stopped loving us. God cares for us. When we feel no one else does. When no one else does, God cares. Oh I know how hard it is to feel and take in. We need a hug, a hand to hold, a verbal “I love you”, a physical being.

God cares if we get better. He has plans already made for what He wants to do with our journey and with our healing -which yes will come. Either here on earth or in heaven’s magnificent glory.

What He needs from us is to not give up. To keep moving forward. Step by step. Moment by moment. However, it is only with His help that we can make it through this journey.

Who cares? God does. He always has and always will and He never gives up.

So even when you feel you’re alone, and the hurt is too much to take, hold on to God because He’s holding onto you.

God,

Today I feel like giving up. Like no one cares. I know deep down You love and care for me. Help me take in Your love so I won’t give up. I want to be able to carry out the plans You have for my life so You can be glorified. I need Your strength more than ever today.

Amen

© 2019 Susan M. Clabaugh. All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

I am a former elementary school teacher who loves God. I am currently in the process of recovering from a childhood of sexual abuse and assaults. I am pursuing God's will for my life right now which involves following various writing endeavors and working on publishing some books. I feel God has led me to write this for my own healing, and to share with others who have been through the trauma of sexual assault.

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