It is easy to be unkind to ourselves. Shame comes easily to us. So negative self-talk often follows. “I hate my body. I hate myself. I’m worthless.” Whether born out of shame or from what we’ve heard from others saying these to ourselves is not helpful to our recovery.
I have found myself repeating all three of these and more numerous times a day lately. I even wake up at night and have them in my head. All they do is bring me more down and hinder any recovery work that is being done.
Even after a therapy session where we discussed the need for me to be kinder to myself I spent the next day telling myself how much I hated my body and myself. How worthless I was. The day took a tailspin downward ending in an emotional breakdown.
It left me wondering what does God think about what I have to say about myself? I know how He wants me to treat others, but how about me?
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16
God loved the world – everyone – not just this person or that person. Not just the one that was – the richest, prettiest nor the poorest or homeless. Everyone. You and me. All of us.
If God wants us to “love our neighbors as ourselves” and He loves all of us the same, then how can we love others and not ourselves? God obviously wants us to treat ourselves with love as well. He’s not saying be selfish but treat yourself with love.
Jesus walks with us wherever we are. So if Jesus is with me right now would I say in front of Him I hate the person you made? You really screwed up. You made me really ugly and I hate who you made me.
Okay, honestly I’m pretty honest with God these days so yeah, I might just do that, but when I think about what I’m doing I’m insulting my creator. The One who knows me better than I do myself. He knows the number of hairs on my head (even after the ones that fell out of my hairbrush this morning) and He created every inch of me uniquely to be me. No one else on earth is like me.
Not even identical twins are completely, exactly alike. He knit each of us together, numbered our days, before we were even born. Created each of us for unique purposes on this earth. So we need to stop the negative thoughts and self-talk and replace it with the Truth of God’s word.
We are children of God, loved so much God sent His son to die not just so we can be with Him in heaven, but so that we can have a relationship with Him. He already knows everything about us and He still wants to spend time with us. How amazing is that? I lose sight of that easily.
Abuse, rape, and recovery from them bring shame, guilt, and the negativity that surrounded the traumas along with our emotional roller coaster. So, what I’m discovering is we need to hold on to the Truth even when we can’t quite comprehend it yet.
When the negative thoughts intrude it’s time to call them out as Satan’s lies. Replace them with truth from God’s word and remember you are also one of God’s children. So do your best to be kind to yourself, and if you understand how to – love yourself – as that’s what we’re called to do for everyone. Even ourselves.
And always remember you are not alone.
© 2019 Susan M. Clabaugh. All Rights Reserved.