“And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” Ephesians 3:17-19
Some days are better than others. Today isn’t one. No day this week has been. The tears have flowed freely every day. I’m tired and depressed. I do not care if anything gets done.
It is the way life is when working through trauma and you feel stuck. Stuck like a piece of gum which has been under a desk for a long time. Hardened and no longer stretchy or sticky. When the gum is sticky and gooey things cling to it and it’s able to move when it’s stretched beyond its’ boundaries.
Nothing can stick to hardened gum and it cannot stretch to accommodate anything. Just like me at the moment. I am in a rut. I cannot seem to stretch to accommodate changes needed to keep me growing today. I don’t want to try anything new. I don’t want to veer from my schedule.
Nothing sticks to me either. No verses from the Bible encouraging me, or a word from God. I have hardened my heart because it hurts too much to let anything in.
Too many people have trampled on this heart of mine over my 41 years. People close to me and people I hardly knew. I guard it now much more carefully.
I know if I don’t open my heart I won’t experience hurt, but I also know I can’t experience love. Even God’s love.
I may question people who say they love me and even God when He says He loves me, but I cannot experience either if I don’t open my heart.
So today I have a choice to make. Do I harden my heart more so I don’t experience the pain which is bringing me the tears, depression and hurt?
If I wish to ever experience the good things God has for me the answer is no. Even in my distress I know God wants me to know His love for me. After all, He created us in love.
For He said, “And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” Ephesians 3:17-19
Tears will still fall from our eyes. We will still experience sadness. However, if we want to experience the greatest love, we must open our hearts.
God wants to fill us with His love in every aspect of our lives.
Will we allow Him?
You know I am hurting today. I want to close myself off so I can’t be hurt anymore, but I also want Your love. Help me keep my heart open to You and to others You send to encourage me. Pick me up when I feel discouraged and allow me to use my circumstances to shine Your light.
© 2018 Susan M. Clabaugh. All Rights Reserved.