“Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8 (NIV)
Working through the trauma of sexual assaults is literally fighting the enemy; Satan. He does not want you to succeed. He wants you to feel depressed, shamed, defeated and alone. He will do anything for you not to succeed in recovery.
Today I worked through something with my therapist and succeeded. It took us more than one session. It has taken about 4 sessions, to work through this one piece of what was holding me back from connecting to my trauma. Yet, with God’s help, today we reached victory.
However, after I finished and I felt the relief and the release of pressure from the work we had done, I was ready to move on, get to the next piece. “Let’s move on.” I said.
My therapist told me, “Savor the moment. Just take it all in and realize exactly what you just accomplished and how it feels.” He emphasized not moving on was important because I needed to learn to be in the moment and not feel the need to work, perfect, do, or fix something.
Like many survivors of sexual assaults I tend to try to be a perfectionist and a workaholic. If I do everything perfect and I am always working then; one, people will tell me how great of a job I have done, and two, I won’t have to feel the bad things. Both false.
My therapist reminded me today it is normal for a survivor to take on these qualities and to never take time for themselves. To allow the enemy to steal our joy, time, and feelings. You may even numb how you feel, or deny the sexual assaults happened. I do both at times.
This is exactly what Satan wants to happen. He doesn’t want you to get well. He wants to see you defeated. Yet, you have the ultimate warrior on your side. God. He is the winner, and in the name of Jesus Satan must leave. He has no power over you unless you let him.
God longs for you to recover and has a plan for your life. (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV) A plan beyond what we can ever imagine.
Will you allow God to chart the course of your life? He wants you to get better. He wants you to learn to enjoy your victories in Him. Take the time to relish your successes with Him, no matter how small you think they may be. I’m learning myself how rewarding it can be.
Thank you for fighting for me. Help me to learn to savor each step I take in recovery and see it as one more move toward all you have in store for me in this life.
© 2017 Susan M. Clabaugh. All Rights Reserved.