Peace

Finding Peace – A Special Posting

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you." John 12:27a NIV

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” (John 14:27 NIV)

Today is not Tuesday, but it calls for a special post. I did not write this today, but yet it could fit today and this week so well.

On the days when I feel completely broken and alone, when the memories are too hard to bare, I cry out to God.  “Please be with me. Help me.”

I cuddle up on the couch in the fetal position and cry into God’s arms. He is the only one who is always there. Yet how can I feel so utterly alone in this world?

To get out of the house I call a friend. She’s on her way to a group for the afternoon. I am not in that place. Too many things prevent me from being able to do the kind of activity she’s going to. All because of what was done to me.

As an adult people tell me I should be over it. At 40 years old I’m working through it with my trauma therapist. With God’s help one day I’ll be able to handle normal situations again. No, it isn’t fair. Life isn’t fair. God never said it would be fair.

However, with all these human feelings and bad memories I feel one more thing. His presence. He is here with me. He loves me. He will never leave me. I can cry out to him day or night and He is there.

He is there for you, too.

Father God,

I am feeling so alone right now in this world. No one to turn to who understands except you. Hold me tight in your arms and embrace this broken spirit and body. Please calm my heart and my fears. Bring me your peace and remind me of your unconditional love. I need you now more than ever. 

Amen

 

© 2017 Susan M. Clabaugh. All Rights Reserved.

I am a former elementary school teacher who loves God. I am currently in the process of recovering from a childhood of sexual abuse and assaults. I am pursuing God's will for my life right now, and right now, He has me attempting to publish my first children's books, and doing other various writing endeavors. I feel God has led me to write these meditations for my own healing, and to share with others who have been through the trauma of sexual assault.

3 comments on “Finding Peace – A Special Posting

  1. Thank you for such a vulnerable yet beautiful post. Grateful you are feeling peace.

    Like

    • Sarah Young said in her devotional “Jesus Always” today, Sept. 2, “When people bare their souls to you, you are on ‘holy ground’. Your responsibility is to listen and love.” Thank you for honoring this Rebecca. It soothes my soul to allow others in.

      Like

  2. Thank you for such a vulnerable and beautiful post. Glad you are feeling some peace.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: