“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” (John 14:27 NIV)
Today is not Tuesday, but it calls for a special post. I did not write this today, but yet it could fit today and this week so well.
On the days when I feel completely broken and alone, when the memories are too hard to bare, I cry out to God. “Please be with me. Help me.”
I cuddle up on the couch in the fetal position and cry into God’s arms. He is the only one who is always there. Yet how can I feel so utterly alone in this world?
To get out of the house I call a friend. She’s on her way to a group for the afternoon. I am not in that place. Too many things prevent me from being able to do the kind of activity she’s going to. All because of what was done to me.
As an adult people tell me I should be over it. At 40 years old I’m working through it with my trauma therapist. With God’s help one day I’ll be able to handle normal situations again. No, it isn’t fair. Life isn’t fair. God never said it would be fair.
However, with all these human feelings and bad memories I feel one more thing. His presence. He is here with me. He loves me. He will never leave me. I can cry out to him day or night and He is there.
He is there for you, too.
I am feeling so alone right now in this world. No one to turn to who understands except you. Hold me tight in your arms and embrace this broken spirit and body. Please calm my heart and my fears. Bring me your peace and remind me of your unconditional love. I need you now more than ever.
© 2017 Susan M. Clabaugh. All Rights Reserved.